House rules for dating teenagers
They begin to think they’re too strict just for trying to implement the rules they’ve always had since their kids were young. I would keep those rules very clear because you don’t want to start having double standards with older kids, especially if you have other younger kids in the home. Everyone in the home should know what the rules are, and it’s important to lay it all out before the child turns 18.
Kids are experts at manipulating their parents with guilt. The second level of rules is the one that enables parents to live with young adults. What’s going to happen if you do what you’re not supposed to do? For example, the rule on drinking: It can be you’re out of the house for a few days, a few weeks or forever.
At eleven they’re starting to play football or baseball and you’re afraid they might get hurt with a piece of equipment.
But as kids get older, they engage in more risky behavior, and “taking care of them” becomes more challenging.
Parents feel they have to take care of their kids, whether they are 9 or 19 years old.
When they’re five, they’re climbing the monkey bars and you’re worried they’re going to break their arm.
If you’re in constant conflict with an older child over everything from curfews (should they have one or shouldn’t they?
), to getting a job, to alcohol use, James Lehman offers advice on how to set reasonable limits and how to coach your child to responsibility and independence.
Just like you can have a spelling error, and misspell a word, you can have a thinking error in which you misread life’s problems and come out with the wrong solutions.
Their brain is still developing in their early 20’s.