I liked dating in the dark
The standard of beauty for black women excludes a large population of the demography.
I got accustomed to being offered lightening or brightening products at spas or beauty counters, as well as suggestions on fixing ‘dull’ skin.
In Africa, it seemed that I encountered patches of ignorance that I blamed on colonial mentality and white hero worship; in America, and specifically, amongst black people, it seemed critically important to know exactly where you fell on the colour scale and what it meant. I was repeatedly told by boys, even those darker than me, that I was ‘pretty for a dark-skinned girl’.
It always seemed important to men to let me know, if they were interested in me, that I was the exception to their rule.
I will admit that something about that changed when I moved to America for university.
I had never been in such a racially charged and hyper aware colour-struck society before.
I knew that I didn’t look like the required status symbol and I understood that in this world, I was a niche.
Like dark chocolate, dark women were also an acquired taste.
First, she can’t help but to wonder what’s going on inside his head – more mystery – it entices her to get things out of him which he won’t share with another woman. Second – it shows strength beyond what she might feel comfortable about in herself. Third – it proves to her without a doubt he is in complete control and can handle adversity sometimes again, better than her.
I met men who were attracted to me but refused to pursue it.